


You've Got to be Kidding Me

by ZayForReal



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bill Cipher Being Bill Cipher, Bill is a demon and slightly powerless, Classic roommate fic with a demonic twist, Demon Hunter!Dipper, Dipper isn't trying to hunt anymore, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Not sure when the other characters show up, Roommates, The henchmaniacs are here... I guess, first fic, will change tags as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:22:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25559518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZayForReal/pseuds/ZayForReal
Summary: Dipper attends Gravity Falls University to pursue a degree in God-Knows-What, and to break away from the family business of demon hunting. Sadly fate has other plans. Throw in Bill, the once all powerful dream demon banished to the body of a mortal and given a life that he has no idea how to control. Once they're aware of their situation- stuck in a tight room together for the foreseeable future- let's just say shit hits the fan.
Relationships: Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines
Comments: 7
Kudos: 34





	You've Got to be Kidding Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic... Basically the fic I've wanted to read but hasn't been written! Feels like the BillxDipper fandom has died off a bit... so Let's revive it! IDK what I'm supposed to put in these notes. Good luck? Have fun? Hope you enjoy! Leave a comment and I'll write the next chapter just for you.

Dipper trudged down the hallway, looking for his new dorm room. It was 10pm, and he was incredibly tired from the long drive up to Gravity Falls. He loved the place like it was a second home, but making it from Piedmont up into the mountains in the night was exhausting. Even having the short walk left to his room down the hall, Dipper wished he could collapse right there and sleep on the floor. But he was so close to his new little uncomfortable cot, so he pressed on.

_Room 333, huh._ He thought. _Lucky Number. Long walk._ His room did happen to be at the very end of that long narrow hallway, and as he got closer he heard what sounded like EDM playing loudly from one of his neighbors, 347. But he wasn’t bothered by the music or the confusing room numbers. He had made it to the room. He set down the two boxes he was carrying, and stared apprehensively at the door knob. Anxiety bubbled in his chest as he finally reached 333. He was nervous to meet his roommate. He glanced out the window that was by the door, down at the dorm courtyard, and took a deep breath. He could do this. He’d met plenty of people (and non-people) in his life, he could meet one more. He went through the list of possibilities one more time. _Could be a serial killer… A part time clown… A bunch of gnomes in a trenchcoat… Or worse, he could listen to music without headphones!_ _May as well get it over with_ , so he turned the knob.

Well, something was definitely off. A chill ran through Dipper’s spine as he passed the threshold. His roommate was lying on his bed, seemingly scrolling through his phone with headphones in, _Thank God_ , and he turned toward Dipper. In that moment Dipper had the revelation. He tensed. The roommate tensed too, and his eyes widened. Hunters and demons have a bit of a knack for recognizing each other. The hunter is trained to recognize the demon, and the demon can tell when it’s being recognized. Accompanying that, Dipper’s backpack smelled like sage, charmed silver, and fairy dust, but only to the one that could sense it.

“Oh, shit.” breathed the demon.

Dipper was quiet for a second. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” He said aloud.

“Look, kid,” the demon pulled out his headphones, “we don’t have to do this. We can just ignore each other! It’s not that hard.”

Dipper swung his backpack around quickly and started to unzip it, while maintaining eye contact with the demon. He was angry that there was a demon here, on campus, _Here! Of all places!_ And his brow was furrowed and mouth taut.

“Oh come on!” the man continued, setting aside his phone and raising his hands in defense, “I’m not even doing anything wrong! Do I seem antagonistic to you? Or are you one of those mindless demon-killers that doesn’t spare a second thought? Not gonna lie, you’re acting like the type.” Of course this only upset Dipper further, and he grabbed a vial of infused sage water out of his pack. When he pulled it out and popped the top off, the blond backed up against the wall behind his bed. “Listen, I know you probably have some sort of long, drawn out backstory as to why you want to take out every demon you meet, but you really don’t have to do this.” Dipper grimaced. “Splashing that shit on me won’t even kill me!”

“It’ll do _something._ ” Dipper stated. He took a couple steps forward, now just feet from the demon.

“ _Something_? Do you even know what you’re doing? I mean obviously,” the demon gestured at Dipper’s backpack, now lying on the floor, “you’re packing a bit of heat, but is that dirty water really your first move? I mean, what’s your endgame here? You gonna kill me?” Dipper hesitated. He really didn’t want to kill the demon, at least not now, and the sage water would probably send it, _him?_ , into shock long enough for Dipper to deal with this tomorrow morning. Now that they weren’t far apart and Dipper’s sight had fully adjusted to the dark room, he took in the sight of the demon before him. He had a good amount of light blond hair on his head, and his features were… fine. His skin was tanned and his eyes were some sort of supernatural amber. He was wearing a black tee with grey pajama pants, and he seemed fit. He was obviously inhabiting an attractive host. If Dipper had met this man as a human, he would’ve been… interested. But that was definitely not the case and _Those thoughts are totally inappropriate right now!_

“Uh, hello? Kid?” The blond tentatively waved his hand in front of Dipper’s face, still darting glances at the open vial of infused water. “Demon got your tongue?” At that, Dipper snapped back into reality and pulled his hand back, preparing to douse the blond in sage. “Woah, woah! Seriously? I thought we were going to compromise!”

“I don’t compromise with demons.”

“We can make a deal!”

“I don’t make deals.”

“Well Jesus, kid,” the demon rolled his eyes and crossed his legs on the bed, taking a more relaxed pose, “Is there anything you can do?” Dipper’s rage hit a boiling point.

“Yeah, there’s a lot I can do!" He took one step forward. "I can knock you out cold with _this,_ ” he gestures with the bottle, almost spilling a little and making the demon flinch, “bind your body with my holy rope, and banish you from this _fucking_ plane of existence!”

They stared at each other for a second, Dipper's eyes shining with hate and the demon's glimmering with a bit of mirth. “Well, shit…” the demon starts with a smirk, “I mean the ropes sound a little hot but do you really have to... ‘banish’ me?” He put ‘banish’ into air quotes. Dipper squints at him. He was starting to feel seriously exhausted from this whole ordeal. 

“Alright, everybody, it’s lights out!” A voice calls from the hallway, which startles the two. “And whose boxes are these? Room 333?” There’s a knock at the open door. A woman’s face peeks through, with short hair and glasses, and she looks at Dipper. “Lights out at eleven, boys. And please collect your boxes from the hallway.” She turns and walks down the hall with a soft click in her heels. Dipper imagines what the dorm monitor would’ve thought if she’d walked in on an exorcism, and he looks back at the demon. The blond grins.

“Looks like you won’t be killing me tonight, kid. Name’s Bill.”


End file.
